Four years as a volunteer mentor: Martin’s Story

At Kids Inspire, our volunteer mentors make a big difference for young people. Mentoring isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about showing up with consistency and care. Our mentors come from many different backgrounds, each bringing unique experiences that help young people feel supported and build confidence. And while mentors give their time and support, they often discover they gain just as much in return.

Meet Martin

When Martin spotted a Kids Inspire poster at his children’s school, it sparked something. He’d already been supporting dads in his community, and mentoring felt like another meaningful way to show up for young people. What he didn’t expect was how much he’d learn about himself along the way.

Tell us a bit about yourself…

“I’m Martin, and I’ve been a volunteer mentor for about four years. I’ve lived in Brentwood for almost 15 years, having moved here from Southeast London. I’m married with two teenage children, and I’ve been a stay-at-home dad since they were born. My previous career was in marketing, with some travel writing thrown in along the way. I would say that being a stay-at-home dad is the hardest job I’ve had (especially at the beginning), but also the most rewarding. I’ve become a different person as a result. In my free time, I enjoy sport, playing competitive hockey and tennis. I also enjoy cooking and days out in London.”

What inspired you to become a volunteer mentor?

“I saw a poster at my children’s primary school, and thought it would be a good way of helping others, especially with my experience as a stay-at-home dad. However when I was asked at the Kids Inspire interview why I wanted to be a mentor, I was overwhelmed by the question and struggled to keep my composure - which is surprising - for some reason I wasn’t ready for it!

It made me realise that emotionally I still had things to learn about myself. The journey to being a dad and primary carer to two small children was a big one, and my character and attitudes changed subconsciously.

I also realised the importance of being a good male role-model. As a stay-at-home dad in London, I realised there were other dads like me, and I set up a dads support group as part of my local branch of the National Childbirth Trust (NCT). This became quite large, receiving grant funding for publicity, events and courses. I realised that I had good experiences and skills that I could offer as a volunteer mentor.”

 What do you enjoy most about being a mentor?

“I enjoy hanging out with my mentees, the camaraderie with fellow mentors and Kids Inspire staff, and the knowledge that I am helping to make a difference to a young person’s life. I also enjoy seeing young people grow in confidence, and the appreciation that they and Kids Inspire show towards me.”

How would you describe what a mentor does to someone who’s never heard of it before?

“I would say that mentoring is about being there for a young person at a certain time and day every week, to have fun, do things together, and talk (if they want to).”

Can you share a moment from your mentoring experience that really stayed with you? 

“I remember receiving feedback from my Kids Inspire supervisor about a young person I mentored. We had been having fun on our bicycles around where he lived but not really having any conversations about anything too serious. The feedback was that he was now a lot calmer at home. This made me realise that as a mentor, you sometimes don’t see the full value of what you are doing and it’s just about having faith in the process.” 

What would you say to someone who's thinking about becoming a mentor but isn't sure yet?

“I would say that as adults we make assumptions about the lives that some children have. We take for granted certain things about childhood.

For example, taking a mentee for a milkshake might be trivial for us, but for them it might not be - it may be the first time they have ever been in a coffee shop. You may be the first adult in their life who hasn’t let them down.

What for you is a friendly meet-up and chat about trivialities, might be the only time an adult has paid them sustained attention that week. Giving up a couple of hours per week as a mentor can have a hugely positive effect on a young person and can be highly rewarding for yourself.”   

What have you learned about children and young people through mentoring?

“You might never know their motivations and attitudes, but that’s fine, the mentoring relationship is to a large extent on their terms, not yours. ”

“There is a whole load of things that spring to mind but the biggest I would say is this: Every young person’s background, experiences and personality is different. You might never know their motivations and attitudes, but that’s fine, the mentoring relationship is to a large extent on their terms, not yours. Just roll with it and enjoy it for what it is. It’s a privilege to see a young person developing their personality and changing over the time that you know them.”

What does being part of Kids Inspire and supporting children’s mental health mean to you? 

“For me, it is about helping a child to have a future. Too often, children don’t get the support they need, so it means a lot to me to help tackle that. It is like seeing baby turtles hatching from their eggs on a tropical beach and trying to crawl towards the sea. We want them all to make it, with a little help from us.”

Being a mentor is a unique and rewarding experience. If this story has inspired you, why not take the first step? We would love to hear from you, and welcome you on our next volunteer mentor training.

Please get in touch by emailing mentoring@kidsinspire.org.uk.