Understanding menopause through a family lens
October marks Menopause Awareness Month, an opportunity to discuss a stage of life that affects half the population but is hardly spoken about. Whilst hot flushes, night sweats, and changes in sleep are well-known physical symptoms, menopause also brings emotional and psychological shifts that can be just as challenging. For mothers, this period often involves navigating fatigue and changes to mood and identity. For children and young people, it can be confusing and sometimes even unsettling to see their parent going through such changes.
This transitional time can be difficult for families because it’s not just the woman herself who is impacted, often partners, children, and even workplace colleagues can feel the ripple effects. Too often, women experience menopause in silence, feeling alone in their struggles. Our goal in this blog is to break down stigma and open the conversation. By drawing on therapist-backed insights, we will explore practical strategies for parents and children to better understand each other and to navigate this period with greater empathy and connection.
Breaking the silence
Menopause is still considered a taboo subject in many households, workplaces, and communities. However, it shouldn’t be a secret. The silence around this topic in these settings often lead to mothers feeling isolated and mis understood, particularly by partners and children.
As pointed out by one of our therapists, when children don’t know what’s happening, they often make up their own explanations. A child might think, “Mum’s angry because of me,” when in fact their parent is exhausted or struggling with hormonal changes. This misunderstanding can quietly impact a child’s confidence and emotional wellbeing. The secrecy can feel like a wall between parent and child, and over time, it can create loneliness on both sides.
By normalising conversations about menopause, families can reduce the shame and sense of isolation many women feel. Speaking openly helps children and partners recognise that these changes are not personal. It also models healthy communication, showing that emotions and struggles can be shared rather than hidden. As therapists highlight, secrecy can heighten anxiety in children, particularly those who may already have experienced trauma. Breaking that silence is often the first step in creating a more connected and supportive family environment.
Parallel challenges
In many homes, there’s a unique overlap with mothers entering menopause at the same time their children are navigating their own hormonal changes. Both life stages bring significant change, and both can be impactful in their own ways.
Teenagers are often dealing with mood swings and identity shifts, while mothers may experience fatigue, irritability, hot flushes, and changes in patience or tolerance. When these collide under one roof, arguments and misunderstandings can feel almost inevitable. Neither person may feel fully understood, and tension can escalate quickly.
But there is also an unexpected advantage here, as teenagers, unlike younger children, have more developed reasoning abilities. If parents take the time to explain menopause in an age-appropriate way, teens can actually empathise and adjust. One therapist shared:
“ If you explain to your child why you’re more tired or snappy, they’re less likely to take it personally - and more likely to share how they’re feeling too.”
This shared understanding can turn potential clashes into opportunities for connection. Both mother and teenager are facing identity changes, and by acknowledging that, families can find common ground. Instead of “me versus you,” it can become a shared journey through transition.
The role of communication
Open and honest communication is one of the most powerful tools families can use during this stage. Both therapists we spoke to emphasised that the way parents talk to their children about menopause should be age-appropriate and honest.
For younger children, this means keeping explanations simple and focusing on emotions. Saying something like “Mummy feels hot and tired right now, but it’s not your fault” helps children understand without feeling responsible. For teenagers, parents can explain menopause as a natural life stage, describing symptoms and what they might notice. This transparency not only helps teens understand but also gives them permission to share what they are going through themselves.
The THINK acronym can be a helpful guide:
· True – is what I’m saying accurate?
· Helpful – will it support understanding?
· Inspiring – does it encourage connection?
· Necessary – is now the right time for this talk?
· Kind – am I speaking with compassion?
As one therapist explained: “Saying ‘I’m feeling snappy today, but it’s not because of you’ reassures your child and stops them blaming themselves.” These small moments of honesty go a long way in maintaining trust and closeness during a time of change.
Practical strategies
Parent-focused tips
Parents often feel guilty for needing time for themselves, but it’s important to remember that self-care is not selfish. One therapist reminded us of the oxygen mask analogy: “You can’t help your child if you can’t breathe yourself.” Simple practices like short walks, moments of rest, or connecting with supportive friends can make a huge difference.
Learning to spot your window of tolerance (noticing when you are close to feeling overwhelmed) allows you to pause before reacting. And when conflict does happen, focus on repair. Apologising, explaining your emotions, and reconnecting afterwards shows children that relationships can survive tension and that making amends is part of family life.
Child-focused tips
One therapist shared her adapted PLACE model, which helps parents approach challenges with their children:
Pause – step back before reacting.
Listen – to yourself and your child.
Accept – your own and your child’s emotions.
Curiosity – ask what might be going on for them.
Empathy – validate their feelings.
Alongside this, small practices like 10-second resets (pausing to breathe or step into another room) can prevent escalation. And when mistakes happen, showing repair and ownership is vital: going back later to say, “I was tired and irritable, I shouldn’t have shouted,” not only mends the moment but teaches children accountability and emotional regulation.
Conclusion
Menopause and adolescence can feel like storms colliding in the same household. But with awareness and compassion, families can work these challenges together. Normalising conversations about menopause reduces shame and helps children and teenagers feel reassured rather than confused.
This stage of life doesn’t have to mean isolation. By being open and proactive, families can turn a potentially difficult time into one of growth and stronger connection. As one therapist noted:
“Honesty builds trust - and trust is what gets families through transitions like these.”
If you or someone you know is struggling, don’t face it alone. Support is out there, from charities, workshops, and helplines, to community groups where women and families can share their experiences. Let’s continue breaking the silence, together.
With thanks to our Kids Inspire therapists Angela and Helen for their input into this blog.