Supporting children through school transitions
Written with insights from Jess, one of our therapists at Kids Inspire
As summer comes to an end, families everywhere are getting ready for the start of a new school year. For many children and young people, this means a big transition – whether that’s beginning primary school, moving up to Year 7, or stepping into college or sixth form. These changes can bring excitement and new opportunities, but they can also feel daunting and overwhelming. Supporting children through school transitions is about helping them feel safe, understood, and ready for what’s ahead.
Secondary school transitions
Jess, one of our therapists at Kids Inspire, reminds us that transitions mean letting go of what’s familiar: “Children moving up to secondary school have often spent years feeling settled in primary school – they know their peers, their teachers, and their routines. Suddenly, they’re faced with new teachers, a much bigger building, different rules, and having to navigate from one class to another. For some children, this is a lot to take in and it can take time for them to feel settled again.”
Starting primary school
It’s the same with starting primary school. Young children are not only adjusting to new routines, but also spending long days away from home and their families for the first time. Jess says this can be “quite daunting for lots of children.”
Acknowledging your own feelings
Parents and carers may also find this transition emotional, as they watch their child gain independence and perhaps face memories of their own school experiences. This can sometimes make it harder to express positivity about the change. It’s completely natural to have mixed emotions yourself, so giving space to those feelings is important. Finding small positives to share with your child can help them feel reassured and more confident about the change.
Signs your child may be struggling
It’s normal for children to feel a little anxious or unsettled in the first weeks of a new school year. But how do you know when a child is finding things harder than expected? Supporting children with school anxiety often means spotting changes in behaviour early. Jess suggests keeping an eye out for changes:
becoming more withdrawn than usual
changes in appetite or sleep
showing higher levels of anxiety, anger, or frustration
spending more time alone than normal.
Friendship struggles can also show up at lunch and break times, which are less structured parts of the day. Talking with your child about how those times are going can give you clues about how well they’re settling in socially.
Helping children adjust to a new school year
“It’s important to let your child know that you are there to listen.”
In the run up to September and the first day back, children often have questions or worries. Your child might be feeling really sad about what they’ve left behind and scared about the unknown of what’s to come.
Making space for these conversations is key. “It’s important to let your child know that you are there to listen,” Jess says. “They might want to talk, but they might also find it easier to draw or write their worries down.” Checking in regularly helps you both notice which worries come and go, and gives opportunities to work through them together.
Practical ideas to help:
focus on the positives: new friends, new subjects, gaining independence
If your child is missing any of their friends from their previous school or nursery, try to help set up regular communication or a meet-up if possible
go through any new school rules which your child might be expected to follow
make a plan together for who they can talk to at school if things feel difficult
prepare uniforms (try them on a few times so your child can check how they feel) and get equipment ready in advance
talk about their memories, and perhaps create a memory book to help ease the transition
use a visual timetable to introduce the new routine (morning, journey to and from school and schedule in school)
Balancing support with independence
Transitions are also a chance to help children grow in confidence. Jess explains: “Work with your child on what they feel ready to do independently and set small goals together. Start with little steps and build it up so their confidence can grow.”
For older children, that might mean:
arranging to meet friends after school within agreed boundaries
walking part of the way to school on their own
The important part is to show that you’re there for them, while giving them safe chances to test out their independence.
At the end of a busy school day, remember that some children need time to unwind before talking. Giving them space to reset first can make conversations more positive and open.
When to seek extra support
Most children will settle into new routines in time, but some may continue to feel overwhelmed. If you’re worried, Jess encourages starting with the school, speaking with teachers or pastoral staff to see if there’s any extra support that can be offered. “Letting your child know that they’re not alone, and that you’re alongside them through time, can make a big difference.”
If worries continue and are affecting sleep, appetite, confidence or friendships, it may be worth seeking additional help. That could mean talking to a GP, school counsellor, or another trusted professional. While Kids Inspire is one source of support in Essex and Suffolk, we encourage families to reach out for the help that feels right for them.
Every child responds to change differently. For some, transitions will be smooth; for others, it may take more time and patience. Children who are neurodivergent, or who have additional needs, may find changes to routine especially difficult, and may need extra support and understanding. What matters most is that children feel safe, seen, and supported - whether that’s by parents, carers, teachers, or other professionals in their lives.
“These changes can feel overwhelming, but with encouragement, patience, and the right support, children do find their way.”
We’re thinking of all the children and young people starting a new academic year.